FACING THE END WITH JOY

          Lyli and I are back in Belize as of Tuesday, about to start our first class session of 2020 with about 20 students give or take a few, and fewer staff than we’ve had in awhile! I have been meaning to get a report off to you since the end of last month, but things have been intense lately, and I thought I would first send you a report about that, as follows: 

A Volcano chain activates in the Philippines, the U.S. and Iran spar on the verge of outright war, the deadly and highly-contagious Corona-virus spawns in China, a series of earthquakes rocks the Caribbean, the Outback burns, and EGW is declared heretic of the week by the Catholic Herald! Just a cursory account of this month’s headlines confirms that 2020 is off to a rip-roaring start! My personal landscape was under violent attack as well with the sudden and tragic death of my dear mother. 

Mom and Dad on a hike together in 2019

Yet despite the insane raging of this plagued planet and the fiends that haunt and harass it, I detect the infinite hand of our Holy Creator and Compassionate Redeemer, and under me I feel His faithful, everlasting arms. He has been, and still is, more than good to me! So to the oft queried “how are you?” with Paul (and Dad, who sent me these verses today) I aim to answer, by the grace of God, “troubled on every side, but not distressed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.” May we truly embrace the cross and the dying of our Lord Jesus as we walk day by day, that we may also truly experience the power of His resurrection! (2 Corinthians 4:6-10) Our God has conquered the grave. He is a LIVING GOD! He is my God! What unfathomable peace, what joy inexplicable! In the face of everything, I still cannot help but revel in the goodness and mercy of God. Among so many other blessings, for twenty years He allowed my family the precious gift of mom's life, such a beautiful life that reflected His love in so many ways! 

 

This last November I felt impelled to be at home for Thanksgiving. I didn’t really have a practical reason, especially since I would be in the States in January for GYC, and it would have made more sense to wait and visit my parents afterward. In retrospect, I suspect God put that strong desire in my heart. Of course, it helped that my brother and his family were planning to be home for Thanksgiving too! We had a beautiful time together. I never dreamed it would be our last with mom. 

After our visit home, we returned to Belize on December 11 to help with the family camp at MOVE, and then went to Guatemala with a group from our local church for twelve powerful days of evangelism, (see yesterday's post) and arrived back at MOVE, Sunday, the 29^th.  I was scanning my emails that evening, when I saw one from Dad with the subject “Connie’s Accident.” 

 

Dear church family,

 

Connie had a terrible fall to her head off a ladder. Please pray earnestly for her. She is on the way to Enlow. I will follow. Please do not call or visit tonight. PRAY.

 

Enloe, with its elite neurological trauma ICU, receives the direst cases from the whole region. Immediately I called my brother, sister and grandparents. Kami and Jered drove down from the northwest to be with Dad the next morning, and Lyli and I were able to join them by Wednesday evening. Mom’s sisters also came to be with us all. 

Mom’s injury resulted in severe hemorrhaging and subsequent swelling in both temporal lobes of the brain. The medical team did the best they could to manage mom’s intracranial pressure with a combination of medications and a stint in an effort to limit further brain damage. Because of the nature of the injury, surgery was not a viable option. 

Mom in the ICU after her fall from the ladder

 The next week was a blur: a painful, slow, seemingly inert blur of trips from the house to the hospital to the house and back again to the hospital, and phone calls, emails, texts, and prayers, lots of prayers. Prayers in the waiting room with friends and pastors, prayers in the hospital chapel, prayers on the phone, prayers during the anointing service, prayers outside and around the hospital with nearly 50 church members on Sabbath afternoon, prayers by myself in the dark on my bed, prayers in the ICU around mom’s bed, prayers in my head. Prayers from friends literally all around the world. Several church members reported about a special Wednesday night prayer meeting with unusually high attendance. "The room was so full, some folks were standing. We had a powerful and moving time of prayer." 

 

On Sabbath, January 4, in the midst of the outpouring of love and fervent, zealous spirit of entreaty, Dad sent out this email:

 

Dear Family and Friends: 

 

I dearly appreciate and love each one of you. Thank you so much for all your prayers, love, and support. Connie has been on full life support his week. She had her last dose of the coma-inducing medicine about noon yesterday so we should be understanding more about the real effects of her injury within the next 24 hours if not before then. I did check an hour ago, and she is not breathing on her own yet. We have faith in the power of God to raise her to us in full recovery, but must trust in our loving Father however He chooses to intervene. 

My son Jered and daughter Kami have been here and have given tremendous support. They left for home, but Kody and Lyli are here. I still remain limited with the amount of conversation, phone calls, texts and emails I can handle right now, but God is gracious and good. 

When the Sabbath began last night I felt the special peace of God. I have given Connie over and over into God’s care and keeping. Whatever happens, I believe that she is safe in his care. That doesn’t mean I still don’t have a good cry every so often, but the sustaining grace of God is keeping our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 

 I stand amazed at the outpouring of prayer for my dear wife. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we would approach God with the same intensity for the outpouring of His Holy Spirit and eternal life for people. Here is something helpful I found about this:

 

‘Many have in a great measure failed to receive the former rain. They have not obtained all the benefits that God has thus provided for them. They expect that the lack will be supplied by the latter rain. When the richest abundance of grace shall be bestowed, they intend to open their hearts to receive it. They are making a terrible mistake. The work that God has begun in the human heart in giving His light and knowledge must be continually going forward. Every individual must realize his own necessity. The heart must be emptied of every defilement and cleansed for the indwelling of the Spirit. It was by the confession and forsaking of sin, by earnest prayer and consecration of themselves to God, that the early disciples prepared for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit on the Day of Pentecost. The same work, only in greater degree, must be done now. Then the human agent had only to ask for the blessing, and wait for the Lord to perfect the work concerning him. It is God who began the work, and He will finish His work, making man complete in Jesus Christ. But there must be no neglect of the grace represented by the former rain. Only those who are living up to the light they have will receive greater light. Unless we are daily advancing in the exemplification of the active Christian virtues, we shall not recognize the manifestations of the Holy Spirit in the latter rain. It may be falling on hearts all around us, but we shall not discern or receive it. (Tm 507.1). 

 

Whether Connie lives or dies, if our difficult experience can become a stimulus to each of us to seek God with similar intensity in repentance, confession, and the forsaking of sin, our sufferings will have been well worth it. 

It is our scriptural privilege that even every thought be brought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. This can only come as we daily contemplate the cross and the enormity of the sacrifice the godhead made in paying a debt we could never pay, accepting it by faith daily, and giving ourselves to the revealed will of God without holding one thing back, depending on the power of the Word and the Holy Spirit to bring about the transformation of heart and mind. Our lives will then show the obedience of love to the commandments of God, which is a condition of salvation. We will come into unity with one another in a way that we have never experienced, reflecting the unity of the Father and the Son. (John 17). 

…Thank you for praying for Connie and myself for we surely need it. I am praying for each of you and beyond for each member of the Seventh-day Adventist church, including myself, that we will experience all of the above, receive the Latter Rain, finish the work of giving the three-angel’s messages, God’s last message of mercy to the world, and to be prepared to go home without one missing.

 

In the love of Christ, 

 

Pastor Larre Kostenko

 

Despite the medical team’s valiant efforts, Mom went to sleep in Jesus three days later, Tuesday morning, January 7. The next week was another long blur of arrangements for the memorial service, compiling and composing mom's Eulogy (see attached) and just helping Dad cope. Yet through it all, this theme of prayer kept appearing everywhere.

On the living room coffee table, I found Mom’s prayer list with dozens of names and needs: Bible study interests, sick members, and Adventist youth attending public school. On Mom’s nightstand I found a book titled “Daring to Ask God for More” bookmarked halfway through, and by her chair in the living room another book titled “Steps to Personal Revival: Being filled with the Holy Spirit.” Mom had been on a journey of prayer herself. Several ladies from the church remarked how much they will miss Mom praying with them on the phone.  

Mom with a couple sisters from church: full of joy and loving service

Mom greets parishioners at the Golden Feather church

 At home on the kitchen table was a stack of materials for “Seeking God’s Spirit,” the General Conference 10-days of prayer initiative, January 8-18. Mom had printed it out for the members of Dad’s two churches. She had also compiled a list of quotes about the conditions for receiving the Holy Spirit. Lyli and I read the powerful testimonies and prayed for the listed prayer requests each day. One day called for us to pray for the Spirit of supplication (Zechariah 12:10). Since then I see God answering that prayer in remarkable ways as I feel a deep need and desire to pray, both alone and with others. Today my wife and I prayed silently and aloud for nearly an hour as we drove to the airport to pick up the rest of the MOVE team, arriving from two weeks of mission conferences in Colombia and Bolivia.  

This world is winding up for the final climax. Everything is in place for the final showdown between Christ and Satan as outlined in Bible prophecy. Everything, that is, except the professed people of God. Oh yes, we see what’s coming, we believe it is coming, and we even claim to trust God to see us through, as we sit back and do nothing. Lord have mercy!  

The Spirit of Comfort and Truth, that Holy Spirit of Suplication still intercedes, interpreting our prayers with inexpressible groaning. Oh how we must make him groan sometimes! Jesus yet prays for you and me, that our faith fail not, that we would be converted, that we would strengthen the brethren! God still invites and pleads for us to find in Him our refuge, to enter into the secret chamber of the Most High, that Most Holy Place of His presence. Until we come to know that place intimately, how can we invite others to enter there, to enter into His rest? 

        We know how the story of this earth ends. But what about my story? What about yours? It is time to learn how to pray, how to wrestle with God, in deep contrition, repentance and humility.  What tragedy can outweigh that of a squandered salvation? What could merit more tears than the horrendous rip-off of trading in eternal life to hang on to our sin? If we would pray as we should we would also work and live as we should! May this year, 2020, be a year of breakthroughs, of victories, of a restored Spiritual vision apace with the times, of accelerated, unflagging labor for the salvation of everyone we know and even those we don't know yet! May we abide in Christ, the Source of peace, strength, hope, holiness and everything good and beautiful! Look up! Face the end with joy! Our redemption is near, oh so near!